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  • Writer's pictureSimone Komatsu

Compliment

Hi there!

How are you doing today?

Everything is OK here!

It's been months that I've been thinking about compliments!

Receiving compliments and giving compliments.

To be honest, I'm the kind of person who don't take compliments so well.

Depending on who compliments me, I feel that I cannot believe in that compliment because that sounds not reliable. Sounds like flattering which is something I'm not a fan at all.

And then, there are those people who give me compliments, and I know that it's for real but somehow I don't know if I believe in that.

I know... I know... sometimes I sound like a freak. LoL


I remember when I was a little girl, my uncles used to say that I was verry intelligent. They used to compliment me. But then my cousins ruined my moments. My cousin, a girl who is 4 years older than me, used to say that I was snobbish and she used to call me "Miss-Know-it- all!". And I remember that she used to make a comment about anything I said.

At that time, I believed in her and as I didn't want to be called by names she gave me I started pretending that I didn't know anything. I pretended to be dumb! But I was just a little girl!!!! And as she was older I assume that I thought she was telling me the true!

Cousins can be mean! She was very mean to me until we were teenagers. You might be wondering why I didn't stop talking to her or ignored her...

Well, there was a time in my life that I was totally manipulated by her. I've found out about that some years ago and it made me feel angry with myself and not with her. Because she was a cool girl, kind of popular everywhere she was, she knew many people.. I guess that's why I let that happen because maybe I wanted to have one third of her popularity. Something that never happened! LOL I was never popular!


While I'm writing here I remember some epiodes of our "friendship", the way she treated me .. and the memories are not good. But they don't cause me pain. It seems that there's a hole inside of my chest which deserves to be fullfilled with new things and good, lovely memories. Memories full of real compliments for my accomplishments, free from manipulation.

Talking about manipulation, I think we are manipulated just by people who we like because we can never imagine that they will do such a thing. We cannot forget that we deal with humans so we must take care of confidence. I'd say self-confidence, in order no to be manipulated.


Whops, I ranaway from the real issue.. as usual ahhahahaha


Nowadays, when I receive a compliment, I start instantaneously doing the opposite! Things start to go wrong, I cannot focus.. I don't know what happens! I think there's a key that turn in my brain and changes to: you're very snobbish miss know-it-all! You're ridiculous!

Is that unimaginable to think? Traumas stay in our minds quietly and the triggers when something happen make the trauma wake up and we repeat our actions from the past.

I try not to mess up what I'm doing when someone compliments me but it's so automatic and I screw things up. Oh Damn!


I have a request! Compliment your kids, your friends and people you like whenever they are doing or saying something cool! Kids especially!!! Even for tiny things! And more importantly, accept compliments given from people who like you and you know that! Do not feel like you are being complimented because they want to ask you a favour and not because you did skmething really well.


People are so bitter these times, life is getting so hard, I guess we don't need anyone saying that we suck (especially when we don't!) or we are snobbish!


Do you want to know what happened to my cousin?

Well, she lives abroad, got married and had two children. Got divorced some years ago. She has been working there for more that 30 years.




As for me.. well I have accomplished some things so far:

  • I'm graduated in Nutrition and work in a clinic as a nutritionist;

  • English language instructor;

  • I have a book published from the texts of this blog;

  • I'm a volunteer at a coffee shop at the weekend;

  • I gave some interviews on TV (local and national channels) about nutrition several times;

  • have visited some countries abroad!


And I'm eager for more! Much more!


How do you receive compliments? Do you believe in all of them? How do you feel about them?


xx


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3 Comments


andre macedo
andre macedo
Feb 27

Não li?

Comi bola então.

Lerei agora.

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andre macedo
andre macedo
Feb 26

Olá menina ruim.

Mais um péssimo texto...

Kkk não diria isso nem que assim pensasse,mas também não diria o contrário por uma possível polidez.

A pessoa bem educada sabe quando falar e quando calar e se manifesta com sinceridade,ao menos nas relações saudáveis.

As crueldades infanto/juvenis são marcantes e dolorosas,mas de forma paradoxal nos fortalecem.

Quando não há hierarquia ,mesmo os elogios que por vezes não pareçam sinceros de uma certa forma o são,pois visam agradar a pessoa alvo do apreço.

Perceba como um assunto possívelmente simples tem sua densidade.

Você é uma mulher bonita,batalhadora,espirituosa.

Seus textos são úteis,necessários,bem humorados e bem escritos.

São elogios sinceros e verdadeiros.

E trate de aceita-los bem,pois do contrário receberá um monte de críticas…

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Simone Komatsu
Simone Komatsu
Feb 27
Replying to

Obrigaaadaaaaa!!! Elogios aceitos com mta alegria!!!! Ah! Mas vc nao leu o texto wm portugues da semana passaadaaaa

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